Gratitude runs deep at this moment.
Today is January 20, 2017, and at this moment, in Washington, D.C., Donald Trump is being sworn in as the 45th President of the USA. I need to do my laundry in town, since it is damp and foggy outside and the laundry has been piling up for a couple of weeks. However, I remembered the Laundromat I use always has three televisions blaring, with no option to change the channels, and as I was not wishing to reinforce Trump’s ego, as well as those of his backers, by watching the inauguration, I let go my plan to do my laundry today.
Yesterday, I put on clean clothes, and picked out a pair of earrings, long, dangling earrings that my friend, Marianne, gave me seventeen years ago, in Santa Fe, when I visited her on my way to California. I rarely wear jewelry, yet, for some reason, I picked this pair. They have turquoise beads strung on silver, and at the bottom, hangs a small bird shape, abalone. The woman at the store commented to me how pretty they are. “A dear friend of mine gave them to me years ago.” Later, when I got home and sat down to go online, the first time in a day, I took off the earrings and put them in a small catchall tray I keep, thinking I need to remember to put them back with the other pairs I so rarely wear. I stayed up late, all night, really, falling asleep, waking up, sitting back down, and trying to stay interested in some series on Netflix. I finally went to bed at four in the morning, knowing I would get only about four hours sleep. Sure enough, the alarm went off and I ignored it. A couple hours later I finally let go my dreaming. As I opened my eyes, I had the strangest sensation in my crown chakra. It was as though the top of my head had blood rushing through it, and I put my right hand to my head, slightly massaging it, feeling a numbing sensation in my skull. I wondered if I might be experiencing an aneurysm, but it was not painful, and the rest of me was still working. The sensation passed, and I did my leg stretches before sitting up on the bedside.
I adapt. What other choice do I have? Below-freezing nights and days, both outdoors and inside the cabin, when it gets up to forty degrees inside this cabin, I finally feel warm. When it got down to 12 degrees last night, I worried about Henry freezing to death. Continue reading
His life was eighty-three years of a series of moments. The person I knew for nearly half my life, E. Pope Goodson, my friend and neighbor, is no more. A month ago, I saw him for the last time, as I stood by his hospital bedside and held his hand. For me, it was a sweet moment. He looked at me and moved his left hand to meet my right hand, and that was all. I laughed and said to his daughter sitting on the other side of the bed, watching us, “We never hold hands!” I had been there almost three hours. Continue reading
I suppose I must accept it: my attempt to live simply in this 21st century is delusional. Being part of these times seems so complicated, full of contradiction, and sometimes, just frustrating. I am starting to understand all those folks who use alcohol, drugs, and other sources for turning off their brains in order to be here. In fact, I fall back on at least one source daily: the Internet. I have been on here since I woke up this morning.
Posted in Attitude, Living Off the Grid, Stream of Life
Tagged 21st century, crms's, feral kitty, info graphics, Internet, life coach, Peace Corps, simple life, ubiquitous greed, zucchini
Where am I this day, as time passes? It all depends on the thoughts I hear in my head. My routine is to get the hot drink, either coffee or lemon juice, sit down with the Ipad and log on to see if there is anything new happening. As the first couple of hours pass, I see many quotes posted online, most of them meant to be encouraging, spiritually edifying. I share some of them, wondering if I truly believe any of them, since, as time passes, I know the moment will come when the thought will pop into my head that defies all that I shared. I am not liberated. I seem incapable of keeping the positive affirmations for very long. I am not practicing the self-hypnosis I need: “Life loves me;” “I am my thought.” The one thing I see, a quote from Jiddu Krishnamurti, strikes me as the most relevant:
“The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe yourself without judging yourself.”
Posted in Attitude
Tagged "J. Krishnamurti, "Life Loves Me, affirmations, bliss, ego loss, egocentricity, hallucinogens, key to success, posts of babies, self-judgement, time passes
Being happy was all that I ever wished to be. As a child, I was happiest when hanging out with our dogs, or tagging along with my dad out on the ranch. I was in a learning mode, although I was not conscious of it. I did not know I was supposed to be making decisions for my future as an adult based on what I was learning as a child. I was simply doing what I loved.
Posted in Attitude, Musings
Tagged acceptance, Being happy, fear of failure, forgiveness, goals, happy child, instincts, intellectual and emotional development, kindness, love, parental expectation, patience, responsible for choices
The Unknown, the Void, is ever present. I listen. All is quiet as this new day dawns. What this day brings, I do not know.
I do know that Spring is coming, for the little fig tree I bring in every winter is sprouting new leaves, despite having very little light. The bright pink of new sprouts under the dead leaves in my flowerbed tell me that soon new peonies will shoot up.
Posted in Attitude, Living Off the Grid, Musings, Shifting Dimensions
Tagged antimatter, CERN, destruction of the earth and the universe, detectors, doubt, Downton Abbey, Dr. Stephen Hawking, earthworms, energy, hadron collider, joy, matter, particle accelerators, particle phsics, peonies, spring, the 'God' particle, the big bang, the Higgs boson, the Unknown, the Void